no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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