you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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