why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
