my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
