the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Bring me that man meat
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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