living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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