I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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