discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
