Buhtt sex?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
