Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
