your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Last time i carry you out of a forest
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize