your parents love me but you hate me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
