me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
