Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
