I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
