i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
