it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
