I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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