Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
