you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
