if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
