TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
