Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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