K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
