To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
