my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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