Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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