Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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