maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
