I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
