i may or may not be watching the land before time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
