I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
