I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize