She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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