Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
