He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
