My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
