i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
