Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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