Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
