Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
