At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize