Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
