I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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