Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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