You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize