woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i drank out of a bidet.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
