I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
