you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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