he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
