I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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