Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
