Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
