you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize