Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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