Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
