Plan B is the new Plan A
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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