What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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