This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
