so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
