I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize