I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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