Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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