Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
